These are some snippets from a email conversation I've been having on contemplative, or wordless, prayer. It may all seem a bit disjointed and rushed. That is largely due to lack of time. But I hope they still make some kind of sense.
I must confess that wordless contemplative prayer is something I don't really 'get'. This may be down to my personality which has some trouble contemplating and meditating about anything. Although, it is also because I think prayer is about communication and specifically about petition.
It is unusual be in someone's presence and not talk to them, and it is unusual to be in the presence of someone who loves to give of his riches when you are deeply poor and not ask them for things.
Karl Barth says of pray that "in the first instance, it is simply asking". "It is the fact that [a person] comes before God with his petition which makes him a praying man" (CD III/3, p.268, cited on p. 49, Tim Chester, The Message of Prayer). Tim Chester, who shaped my thinking on this a great deal, comments:
"I have been frustrated by members of my congregation who could not be exhorted to focus on the praise of God or on confession without moving on to petition. It is an attitude of which I now repent. We too easily think of those who move into contemplative modes of praying or those who make worship or confession the focus of their praying as those who are advanced prayers. It is not so. We must recognize that it is the 'unsophisticated', simple prayers who truly express trust in divine Majesty., who truly acknowledge their own need before God, and who have truly grasped the freedom of the Father-child relationship. Many books on prayer exhort us to search for deeper experiences in prayer or more sophisticated modes of prayer that breed a sense of inadequacy in some and of superiority in others. The Bible invites us to find the model of prayer in the simple petitioning of a child before a father. This leads to freedom and peace."
(ibid)
Nevertheless, I think there is a place for stillness and silence which can help in calming your spirit. But I think that is not what I would call prayer, and can only really happen knowing that you have brought your cares and worries to a Father who has the says he will deal with them and has the ability to do so. If it is not in that context it contains the danger of being an act of escaping reality and burying your head in the sand. Much better is a faithful resting in the Father's promise to hear prayers offered in the name of his Son.
[...]
I do most of my thinking out-loud, in conversation, or while reading. That is the way I work, for good or ill. So I love this sort of discussion, but it does make me less receptive to the idea of wordless prayer. That may not necessarily be a good thing though. 'That is my personality' is not a good reason for very much, so it is good to be challenged.
You are right that a lot of our communication is not by words. Although I think they are more important than the commonly repeated statistics would suggest. But whether or not that is true, can we then just apply our experience of human relationships to our relationship with God? If I am communicating by telephone I can't communicate visibly, and if by letter then words are my only option. We walk by faith and not by sight in our relationship with God, and faith comes by hearing. I think it is fair to say that words are fundamental to our relating to God. That may even be why Jesus is called 'The Word'. I don't think that is a permanent state of affairs because we will see him eventually, but that is the way things are now.
That may sound an awfully restricted view of our relationship with God. N may well argue that it is. But I would tend to think that it is good news.
If God is invisible and intangible to us people waiting between his ascension and his second coming then the only avenue that he can communicate to us except through external words (spoken or visible, e.g. sacraments) is through internal words or feelings. If God is communicating to me through those internalised words and feelings then I'm in big trouble. I am creature committed to self-deception. Much of the time my inner thoughts tell me that God approves of me being thoughtless, cruel and selfish. My internal god (because in practice it is a separate deity) serves to make me more and more complacent in my sin, instead of forming me into the likeness of his Son. Other times my inner thoughts may remind me of how deeply ingrained is sin in my life. It tells me that there is no hope of me forming a relationship with God because I'm unworthy. It tells me that I'll never change because I never really have in the past.
In contrast the external word of God tells me I'm more sinful than we could ever know, but more loved than I could imagine. It tells me that, no matter what I feel, I deserved to be hung on a tree but I am now an adopted son of the Father in Christ who died for me.
There are two different ways we can relate to God. One is outward looking and the other is inward looking. One listens to external words and responds in kind, the other listens to internal words (which is really our own voice) and responds in kind. But, doesn't God live in me? Of course we are told that if we are Christians he does. We are told that the Holy Spirit dwells in us and that Christ lives is in us. But it is notable that it doesn't say that the same of the Father, and in almost every New Testament instance of prayer it is the Father whom we address.
So that is a bit more of a broad-brush picture of where I'm coming from. I can see how it could be criticised that it is quite a restricted conception of our relationship with God, but I think that it adds more colour and shape to our understanding. It is more solid and reliable, and I need my relationship with God to be as solid and reliable as his promises are when times get tough.
But as I've said earlier, I think there is a place for wordless quiet in our lives. I just think that it is secondary to, and dependant on, words.
It seems like you answer your own question.
ReplyDeleteBut just in case I thought I'd throw my two cents in.
Sometimes I just don't know what to pray. Sometimes the Holy Spirit will kick in with words, other times I can only get out a good, solid, "GOD" and I'm stuck.
Life hurts sometimes and while I do a lot of 'talking' to God, I also - in the worst moments of my life - spend a great deal of time just sitting there looking to Him.
He sees the pain and confusion in my expression just as clearly (more so actually) as a dear friend would.
I've wept before Him without ever being able to say a word. I stepped into His presence and my heart simply broke over circumstances beyond my control, and all I could do was weep. He heard those tears as definitively as He's heard my words. Sometimes I think my tears are more clear because I'm not trying to pretend anything with those tears.
It's not my primary method of communicating with God. That would be rather silly I think - just as silly as trying to develop relationships here on Earth using the "silent, wordless, method". But when I call upon a silent prayer it's usually because I have no other words with which to approach.
I am thankful for a Father who understands what I can not say.
That is helpful flyawaynet. Thanks for commenting.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't want to exclude what you describe from prayer. I can certainly identify with what you talk about.
Perhaps I got a bit carried away.... I suppose what I most want to defend is that prayer is communication, usually petition, with the Father who is outside of us. It is not being left with our own thoughts.
But I can see what I say wouldn't quite include what you describe. Maybe I need to be more nuanced. Hmmm.
I haven't really thrashed out a theology of prayer before, so I am probably still making some basic errors. It is a great topic to think about though. I have been reading a bit of Melanchthon recently and one thing I particularly appreciate is how again and again he sees being able to pray with faith as one of THE great benefits of being a Christian, and one of the great rediscoveries of the Reformation. Often us theologically minded folks don't think enough about prayer, but it is so precious we really should.
Thanks a lot. Those were a helpful 2 cents.
Would it help if you separated out 'prayer' and 'contemplation' (you refer to 'wordless contemplative prayer')? Silent contemplation is a suitable response to many things, but seems particularly apt in response to the (revealed) mysteries of faith.
ReplyDeleteIn response to Stephen, I'm wondering if that means you would say there is no silent prayer but only silent contemptlation?
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like what you were saying, but I could be wrong.
As I think about it, I think about my niece and nephew - they ask for a lot of things, but not every question has words. Looks have begged, tears have angrily lashed out at me, and silence has told me of embarrassment and hurt. Most often, after a request, there is a long silence that involves puppy dog eyes, and quivering lower lips and variations of those things continue asking long after the words have been spoken.
Hands suddenly clasped in front of themselves beseech me, occasional whines or moans attempt to sway me.
All without words.
I think we human are very communicative whether we open our mouths or not. :)
Sometimes I'd rather those kids ask than use those ploys. At least words I can combat.
Steve and flyawaynet... I couldn't agree more with all you say.
ReplyDeleteIt is probably because I've actually spent very little time talking about this with people that I've never really learnt how to be clear about what I mean.
Flyawaynet: I wouldn't want to distinguish prayer and contemplation so sharply, since to me they feel quite similar. However, Dave's definition of prayer inevitably precludes silence/wordlessness, so it seemed to me that it might be helpful for him to distinguish the two.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you that actions as well as words speak, and that God must understand our body-language as well as our verbal-language - indeed he knows what we need before we ask him. But, just as it is important for children to learn to articulate themselves - it helps them and others to understand how they feel - so I think we need to work at articulating ourselves in prayer.