Why forgive?

Why should we forgive those that have wronged us?

Here are a few quick thoughts:

1. Because healing only comes through accepting the harm

If someone has inflicted harm on you, you can war against them either in your heart alone or externally. But even as you try and undo the harm or redress the balance the splinter only slips deeper and deeper into your soul. It is commonly commented that the bitterness or anger will kill you slowly unless you accept the harm done to you (painful as that may be initially), forgive and move on (cf. pp. 188ff, Tim Keller, The Reason for God).

This is deeply true, and is a good reason to forgive, although as clever Kim Fabricius notes

"Counsellors tell us to forgive people lest we become embittered and twisted. Thus forgiveness itself becomes a fashionable therapy, all about me."

2. Because we have been forgiven much

Like the servant in Matthew 18:23-35 we have been forgiven an enormous debt that dwarfs anything we may be owed. We have been forgiven the enormous sin of rejecting our creator and redeemer and instead of an eternity of punishment we have an eternity of glory in Christ Jesus. In that light, how can we not forgive others their minor offences against us? Anything that has been taken from us by a person is only a drop in the ocean of riches we have in Christ. It is not a loss worth dwelling on.

3. Because they have already been offered forgiveness by the judge of all the earth

I am loving reading Romans 1-2-1 with a friend at the moment. Reaching chapter 14 it is surprising that the reason we should not judge or despise our brother (okay, a little different to forgiving) is because God does not judge or despise them. There is no condemnation for them now in God's eyes (8:1) so how can we mere humans condemn them? In fact we should "welcome" those who God welcomes (14:1, 3). Any sin we have suffered is also a sin against God (Ps 51:4) and God has already offered forgiveness to that person. Therefore, we echo God's word of forgiveness to those who have wronged us.